Alive Once More
by ReplicaIndeed
Summary: After the nightmare that was "A Night in Vegas," Clare and Eli face the difficult reconciliation needed to fix their relationship, but most importantly, themselves.
1. Night Fall

**Was that Finale crazy or what! I cried shamelessly when Eli was "stabbed." I jumped up from my bed as was just like "Aaahh!" **

**Discuss it with me in a review? :)**

**But more about the story now. This is going to be a multi chaptered fic, but It should be wrapped up fairly soon. **

**I know this is a short chapter, but the others should be longer. **

**Enjoy. **

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Eli and Clare walked down the rest of the steps in silence. Neither one had a desire to speak.

"Do you need a ride home?" The muted voice of the boy beside her questioned. Clare nodded her head softly.

They walked out to Morty with a space greater than the universe between them. The ride home was much the same, each of them trying to recover from what had just been dealt with moments ago.

Neither of them moved nor spoke once at her house. The only sound made was Clare, still with her arms crossed tightly against her body, swallowing loudy.

Eli sighed.

"Clare, we gotta talk about this sometime."

She turned her head to him slowly. "I gotta go."

And with that, she unclenched her arms from around herself and quickly exited the vehicle. Eli was quick to follow. He only knew things needed to be said. How they were to be said though, he wasn't sure. Clare was halfway down the walk to the door when Eli caught her arm. He spun her around to face him. He was met with a heartbroken face.

"What the hell was that out there?" Clare cried out at him, tears flowing from her eyes now. Eli wasn't sure how to respond. He opened his mouth, ready to say whatever came to mind first. But there was no need, for she was only getting started.

"I told you run! And what do you do?" Her voice cracked as her pitch got a little louder. Eli pressed his lips together.

"Nothing!" She answered for him. "You do nothing." Her breathing was getting labored.

"Fitz," She spat his name like she was spitting out a bad taste in her mouth. "He came at you with a _knife._ And he pushed you into a corner. I thought- I thought-"

She couldn't finish that thought.

Eli didn't say anything as he enveloped her in his arms. She pushed him away. His face held all the hurt and confusion that his mouth was failing to convey.

"You scare me, Eli." Clare whispered brokenly. "You either shut down or-or resort to violence when things take a turn for the worst."

"Clare." The dark haired boy reached for her again, but she side stepped his reach. She turned her head away from him, towards the floor, and spoke.

"I understand it's not your fault. I understand that there are things that have happened to you in the past that have made you this way...But I think you need help before we can continue to be together." Clare finished.

Silence was once again resumed amongst the two.

"Yknow, when Fitz was coming towards me with that knife. When he had me cornered against the wall, all I could think about was Julia." They were both looking at the floor now as he continued. "I kept wondering if she was as terrified as I was in the face of death. Or did she go unknowingly?" He shook his head and swallowed loudly.

"And then, as he plunged the knife towards me…" He shivered. "I almost couldn't wait to see her." Eli whispered the last part, some sort of shameful emotion coloring his tone.

Clare had heard enough. She took fast steps toward him and laced her arms around his neck.

"I'm so glad you're alive." She whispered.

Eli enveloped her waist with his arms and held her tightly.

After a few moments, Clare took a deep breath and whispered in his ear. "I have to go. My parents will be wondering where I am."

Eli gave her one final squeeze before letting go. "Can I see you tomorrow?" He asked quietly.

Clare bit her lip. "Cant."

Eli sighed, and was about to ask why not, when Clare continued.

"I going to my grandmas' for break remember?" She said with regret. "But, I think it'll be a good thing, us not seeing each other for a little while. Just to get our heads on straight. Because the talk we're going to have when I come back is something I'm not sure I'm ready for just yet."

Eli glued his eyes down at her shadow casted on the concrete. Something told him she was more a part of it than she was her body at the moment.

He nodded. "Okay."

She took a step towards him once more, and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"'Night." She whispered against his cheek. Clare heard him swallow.

"Goodnight, Clare."

* * *

**Ugh! Be October already.**


	2. Sparks

**Sorry for the late update!**

**School started up again. **

**_Unfortunately, _there are no Elijah Goldsworthys in any of my classes. Cue unhappy face. **

**You can thank Coldplay for this, Parachutes (the album) is just wonderful. Hence the title of this chapter. **

**Sparks - Coldplay. (Optional: You should give it a listen while reading, I think it'll enhance it.)**

**I think it works perfect for this chapter.**

**Enough rambling! :) Enjoy. **

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When Clare had agreed to go to her grandmothers for spring break, she hadn't counted on a certain boy to be on her mind all day, every day. But there as she lay with her eyes closed on the mattress of the spare room, all she could think about was Eli. All she could see was his face, the look of genuine fear for his own life. It all hurt so much to think about. She squeezed her eyes tighter together and took a deep breath. But she couldn't escape.

_Fitz took a step closer to Eli. Pushing him. Pushing him._

_Further to defeat._

_All sound canceled out. _

_His lips moved. The silent pleas of a hopeless boy._

_His eyes deadened._

_All she could see was his life in Fitz's hands._

_He struck the death blow-_

The sudden knock on the door had her jumping up to a standing position with a scream threatening to explode from her lips. Clare's heart pounded in double time and her eyes prickled with tears.

"Y-yes?" Her voice wavered slightly.

Her grandmother opened the door slowly and gave Clare a cautious look. "You okay sweetheart? Your legs are shaking."

Clare looked down at her legs and was surprised to find that her knees wobbled slightly.

"Y-yeah, yeah I'm fine." She tried her best to smile but was sure it looked more like a grimace.

The old woman's worry wrinkles grew more profound as she looked upon her granddaughter. "Would you like to come downstairs and prepare dinner with me?"

Clare found enough strength to muster a small smile, and nodded.

They exited the room together and proceeded through the dark hallways of the old house to the stairs. Clare touched everything that she passed, trying to feel the sense of something real, something happening in the present.

Once at the kitchen, Clare's grandmother busied herself washing vegetables whilst Clare grabbed the pots and pans. Clare had always found cooking methodical. The chance opposites creating something beautiful collectively had fascinated her as a child.

"Chop the veggies would you, Clare bear?" Her grandmother's feeble voice queried.

"Sure." She whispered in reply. She reached for the knife on the counter with shaking hands. She tried her best. She really did. But cutting those vegetables felt like the hardest thing to do.

_Slice._

_Slice._

_Red._

Clare gasped as red started to ooze from her finger. She gripped the counter surface as she fought for air. She tried to call to her grandma for help, but silence ensued as did the blackness. Clare wobbled on her side, trying to regain her senses. The clattering of the knife falling to the counter was barely audible in her suddenly noise wrought ears.

"_Don't do this."_

"Clare?" Somewhere from the darkness her grandma called to her. "Oh my goodness! You're bleeding, Sweetheart! Are you alright?"

She felt hands begin to grab her wrists.

"I-I…" Her vision was returning at a slow rate, her grandmother's face worming it way into recognition in Clare's eyes.

"_Don't do this."_

"I better go put a band aid on." She gently pulled herself from her grandma's hold and shuffled up the stairs. Clare made a beeline towards the bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door and sank down the floor.

And Clare cried.

It might have been only minutes or maybe hours, she wasn't sure. Lately, she hadn't been sure of anything. Her need for Eli was stronger than ever. She suddenly felt great remorse for leaving him behind. She should have stayed with him. At the moment though, all she wanted to do was run from the situation. Clare wanted to run from Eli. Everything had been all too real, all too left undone.

She hugged her arms to her knees and buried her face inside. After a few more minutes, she reached her hand down to her pocket and felt around for her phone that hadn't been checked in week and a half. Taking it out, she held it up to her face.

5 missed calls.

Mom.

Alli.

Alli.

_Eli. _

_Eli._

She desperately wanted to call him back. Just to hear his voice, just to know he was okay.

But she didn't.

Instead, she got up from her position on the floor and headed towards the mirror cabinet. She opened it and fished for a band aid for her wound. Clare carefully placed it on the dried bloodied cut, and took a look at her reflection in the mirror.

She looked awful.

Her face looked like a giant tomato from all her crying: Her nose, her eyes, her cheeks, everything swollen and red.

She needed to go outside.

No. She needed to leave.

Resolve washed over her face in an instant. That was it. She needed to leave. Clare called her mother to come pick her up. Her mother had persisted that she stay for a little longer, but Clare told her that she needed to finish an essay before school started. She could be a good liar when she wanted to be.

Clare rushed down to the kitchen once more, but was only greeted by a lone plate placed on the table with probably cold food on it. Her grandma was nowhere to be found.

"Grams?" Clare called out to avail. Her grandma could not hear her.

She walked up to the window by the sink and finally spotted the grey woman. She was tending to her garden. Clare watched for a moment, debating whether to go outside at that very moment to tell her grandmother of her early departure.

She decided otherwise, after dinner would have to do. Clare barely touched her food even though it was her favorite dish: Lemon Chicken and Veggies.

Her grandmother walked in from outside, but paused to find Clare pushing around her food. The woman walked towards the dining table and took a seat across from Clare. The girl jumped.

"Grandma! I didn't hear you come in." Clare said, shock coloring her voice.

"Well you did seem pretty spaced out. In fact, this entire week you've seemed pretty spaced out." She observed. "Care to tell your old Grammy what's wrong?"

Clare couldn't resist her grandma's voice. Or maybe she just really needed to leave behind what she'd fought for a while now.

So she spoke. She spoke until cried. And she cried until she stopped.

Her grandmother only nodded through Clare's entire speech, and for that, she was grateful. She ended it by telling her she called her mother to come pick her up.

"How long ago did you call?" Grandma Edwards asked, a plan evident in her voice.

"Uh, about an hour ago." Clare responded, slightly eager to know what her grandma had in mind.

"Good! That leaves just enough time to bake that apple pie you love so much." The smile that graced Clare's lips was the most genuine smile she had produced the entire time she had been visiting there.

"Yeah, Yeah I'd like that." She smiled even wider and hugged her grandma.

Maybe time was the right way to go about this.

She was ready for the next step.

She was ready to be there for Eli.


End file.
